![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I cannot believe I forgot to talk about the sweetest comment I got recently on cast some light and you'll be all right. It's incredibly validating to receive fic comments and kudos when I haven't written and posted fic since... well, shit, November 2020, apparently.
I've been in such a different place creatively-- so much of my creative energy is going toward the AKB Campaign. I write scenery snippets and dreams for my players and then I've gotten into the habit of cleaning up my prep notes into narrative formats. My players have been enjoying reading them and we talk about the campaign a lot, so it feels valuable as a creative exercise, even if the audience is just a handful of close friends instead of /large handwaving gesture toward Fandom. But I do miss writing fic. It's like flexing a different muscle.
That comment thread for cast some light though is particularly lovely because it brings up a whole level of Cassian's characterization that I've privately held close to my heart and not talked about too much. My own identity is sometimes a complicated ball of grey areas, but I have wondered for years if I have grey-ace / demisexual tendencies... and I do feel that my portrayal of Cassian in that 'verse holds space for that. It's always nice to have readers point out my quiet little markers, especially in a 'verse that is primarily PWP / Porn with Feelings.
Anyway, it's also really cool and validating to have a reader say that they've carried my portrayal of Jyn/Cassian with them for years. There's a pressure, I think, to write a lot of content constantly in order to be ~relevant within a fandom and not fall into obscurity... I've made relative peace with letting go of that now because I just-- can't do it all right now. (Work full-time on three projects, run a new community theatre committee, participate onstage and offstage with productions, run a campaign, make time for family and friends, AND write fic? Too many hats, too many spinning plates.)
It's such a nice feeling though to know that someone out there is reading what I wrote and finding value in it.
I've been in such a different place creatively-- so much of my creative energy is going toward the AKB Campaign. I write scenery snippets and dreams for my players and then I've gotten into the habit of cleaning up my prep notes into narrative formats. My players have been enjoying reading them and we talk about the campaign a lot, so it feels valuable as a creative exercise, even if the audience is just a handful of close friends instead of /large handwaving gesture toward Fandom. But I do miss writing fic. It's like flexing a different muscle.
That comment thread for cast some light though is particularly lovely because it brings up a whole level of Cassian's characterization that I've privately held close to my heart and not talked about too much. My own identity is sometimes a complicated ball of grey areas, but I have wondered for years if I have grey-ace / demisexual tendencies... and I do feel that my portrayal of Cassian in that 'verse holds space for that. It's always nice to have readers point out my quiet little markers, especially in a 'verse that is primarily PWP / Porn with Feelings.
Anyway, it's also really cool and validating to have a reader say that they've carried my portrayal of Jyn/Cassian with them for years. There's a pressure, I think, to write a lot of content constantly in order to be ~relevant within a fandom and not fall into obscurity... I've made relative peace with letting go of that now because I just-- can't do it all right now. (Work full-time on three projects, run a new community theatre committee, participate onstage and offstage with productions, run a campaign, make time for family and friends, AND write fic? Too many hats, too many spinning plates.)
It's such a nice feeling though to know that someone out there is reading what I wrote and finding value in it.
